I slept in today. I submitted final grades to the college, and I landed in a new morning hot yoga class. Right now, I’m sitting at Camp House being really thankful for today – for movement, for rest, for time to breathe and to think. I finally caught up on my daily reading last week, making my goal of the Bible in a year attainable once again. I started on December 29th of 2014, so in just a couple of weeks, I will have read the Old Testament all the way through once and the the New Testament + Psalms and Proverbs twice. I’ll have to post about what I learned/discovered when I’m finished. I’m still mulling over the benefits and insights.
Meditation on Moses
At the end of yoga class today, our instructor led us through a meditation after savasana. She told us that when she is facing a big obstacle, this is her favorite meditation: She remembers the story of Moses and how he must have felt standing at the edge of the Red Sea. So much had already been accomplished, but standing there in that moment, maybe his heart failed him as he looked out across the water. Then, something miraculous happened. The Red Sea parted. She pointed out to us that it wasn’t his strength or his power that caused the waters to recede and stack. (She also didn’t say that it was the Power of the Living God for the sake of the class, but I knew it and wanted to shout it!) She told us that sometimes we just have to trust. All we have to do is take a step and watch the waters part. She asked us to close our eyes and to imagine standing on the beach, looking out at the ocean. She asked us to imagine the ocean parting before us, just for us.
The Academic Ocean
I don’t feel like I’m facing a huge obstacle, but it’s no secret that I’ve often wondered if teaching college is the right path for me, long-term. I have no doubt that the Lord provided this job at the exact right time. There’s no question that I have learned so much, and that He teaches me every single day through my own students. However, I spend myself on my job with little compassion, time, or energy left for others beyond academia. I find myself not spending as much quality time in the Word as I would like. I often sacrifice my personal and spiritual life for my professional one. Something has to give. I know that. So while I don’t see this as a huge “obstacle” in my life in a dramatic way, I do see this situation as something that needs a lot of prayer before big changes are made. This is what immediately came to mind when our instructor today starting leading us through meditation.
I couldn’t (and still can’t) wrap my mind around something that miraculous and powerful happening just for me. But, it happened just for Moses, and because of Moses’s faith, an entire nation of people was saved in a supernatural way and God received all of the glory. So I sat, and I imaged it. The ocean stretched far beyond what I could see. It seemed unending. I thought about the ocean waves starting to move in unnatural directions. I thought about seeing the canyon water walls emerge right before my very eyes, all the way to the edge of horizon and beyond. I imagined what the dry ocean floor would look like, how it would run on into the distance. I saw jelly fish and other sea creatures swimming in the walls, and I watched in wonder. It was something spectacular. But even in this meditative state, it was hard to imagine taking a step forward. It was all so big, so awe inspiring, almost terrifying. Even in my imagination I was hesitant. The literal voice in the room reminded me to let go, to allow this miracle to just happen. To walk ahead.
The Other Side
My mind raced, looking for a place to land. What I mean is that I needed a concrete destination in mind in order to take that first step. I thought that if I knew where I was going, if I knew what place was waiting on the other side, I might even run from the shore into the path before me. The truth is, I don’t know what that place is, but an image did appear. It’s a place I have been before, a city that cries out to be heard. I saw the skyline. I knew where it was immediately. There was no small amount of fear and doubt when I recognized the place. I don’t know if that’s where my path truly leads, but I saw it in my mind today, and once again I submit it to the Lord. I wait for his command to stretch out my hand, and when he says so I will watch the waters part and I pray that I will have enough faith to step out.
Most of the time, the Lord speaks to me from my reading, from my own time in the Word. Today, God spoke through Moses via my yoga instructor. Every time I’m in class, so many pieces of a seemingly distant puzzle seem to come closer and closer to falling into their proper places. I don’t know where I’m supposed to be next year or even next week, but I know I am where I’m supposed to be today, and I am so, so grateful.
13 And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
Photo Credit: Cameron Coker